We Hate Bob Ross!

 

Robert Norman “Bob” Ross

Host of a famous painting show, The Joy of Painting, Bob Ross is an art icon… And possibly an evil mastermind plotting domination of the people.

While working as a carpenter with his father, Ross lost his left index finger. He says that did not affect his painting, but we wonder if all those “happy little mistakes” are because of it? Or maybe the loss of a finger showed him the first pain and rage that would drive him to attempt a rise to power and secure he would never suffer a loss again?

His early life, he was in the military as a first sergeant, and this is where he learned to be hash, mean and lead troops into battle. A skill he would need as his rise to power begain.

He left the army when he had learned enough, and began to work on creating the funding needed to rise to power.

We would claim he was so broke, he had to find a way to cut back on spending, so he decided to have his hair permed, just so he could save money on haircuts. The perm hairstyle was not comfortable for Bob, but ultimately became an iconic feature of the painter. It also hides his flask and uzi.

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This hair is packing an uzi, trust us!

He started his show with 2 other people, the first 2 converts to the “Bob Ross Method”.

Art critic Mira Schor compared him to Fred Rogers, another PBS television host, noting that the softness of Ross’s voice and the slow pace of his speech were similar.. they dont really look the same, so we can not say they are the same guy.. not without some kind of mind control or elaborate makeup anyhow…leading to suspicion that Mr. Rogers could be the same person, a puppet, or his right hand man (and secretly plotting a take over)

Ross founded his own successful line of art supplies and how-to books, and also offered painting classes taught by instructors trained in the “Bob Ross method,” building a $15 million business.In a 1990 interview, Ross mentioned that all his paintings were donated to PBS stations to make him seem benevolent. His 20 books and 100 videotapes (the total to that date), as well as profits from some 150 Bob Ross–trained teachers(sleeper agents) and a line of art materials sold through a national supplier. Bob would also appear on the US shopping channel QVC, to promote his products on air.  So his happy little mistake funded his evil art empire as well as training other sleeper agents….

Small animals often appeared on his show, even during some of his trickier works, as he would often take in injured or abandoned squirrels and other assorted wildlife and look after them.It seems another benevolent act until you lean that he was actually forming a  secret small animal army. A horde of squirles decending on an emplacement, clawing and biting all who get in the way and able to slip into the smallest of gaps in a secure emplacement. Horrifying.

Bob Ross is (reportedly) dead now, but his sleeper army still waits, painting and preaching the “Bob Ross method”

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